How to Heal a Marriage Hurt by Addiction

This means that when someone enters recovery, it is not only a personal journey but also a journey that impacts their loved ones and their closest relationship. The decision to pursue sobriety is major and life-changing, both for the addict and for the spouse. It can take a toll physically, as the person in recovery is going through withdrawal symptoms that can be very intense. It may be impossible for a spouse to care for a partner who is experiencing nausea and vomiting, fatigue, lethargy, lack of appetite, and excessive sweating and bodily shaking. “In sickness and in health.” Those words are a familiar part of a marriage vow, when a couple commits to staying together no matter what.

• I can certainly see why marriage is still a valued dynamic in our society, but it’s up to each couple and what they feel it is right for them.
• It’s an old adage that communication is vital in marriage anyway, and that’s especially true when one or both partners are recovering addicts.
• Understand that rebuilding your marriage will be a long and challenging process, and keep your expectations reasonable.
• We did this tightrope walk through two extended stretches of sobriety and two big relapses.
• This natural ebb and flow can be a byproduct of a healthy, mutually supportive marriage.

How does drug addiction ruin lives?

• Now that it has burned, I have to remind myself that nature’s gift in hard times is to remind us of its perpetual cycles.
• Those close to them, such as the wives, mothers, and friends, should give the recovering persona the support needed if the marriage after rehab is to work.
• There is also a greater understanding of a partner’s trigger situations, and couples know how to avoid them.

The stress ate me up and my husband bore the brunt of that. Discipline was challenging for 1,000 different reasons and none of us could quite get it right. My husband had his own battles which are not mine to tell.

The No. 1 habit sabotaging relationships, according to Dr. Orna Guralnik of ‘Couples Therapy’

The overall divorce rate in the United States is roughly 50%, and it makes sense that addiction to alcohol adds significant challenges for couples to overcome in order to stay together. Top Dog has been the mainstay of the family and doing most of the parenting. Underdog needs to be encouraged to take on more responsibility, while Top Dog needs to let go of control and stop enabling the addict by being super responsible. The newly sober have their own demons and challenges just staying sober and clean. Taking on family and work responsibilities without the help of a drug can be daunting, depending upon the duration of the addiction. If the person with SUD suddenly isn’t dependent upon their partner to take care of them, this can cause a disruption in the relationship as well.

• There is anxiety that the person with the substance use disorder used to cover and avoid a slip.
• Your new identity and life paired with your firm boundaries can help you to not take their relapse personally and to act in your own best interest.
• Addiction is a complex and destructive disease that not only affects the individual struggling with it, but also their loved ones – particularly their spouse.
• This eventually led him back to school for a degree in psychology.
• While treatment for SUD is often a group effort, spouses and other loved ones must also set aside time for their own needs and self-care.

Find Support

It is extremely important to us that you receive the highest quality medical care from our qualified staff during your stay. The recovering addict must also be patient as his or her spouse works to rebuild trust. Trust is linked with intimacy, so understand that your spouse may need time to rebuild the sexual part of your marriage as well. While you can get help at the same time, recovery is an individual journey. The underlying cause of addiction is as unique as you are. During your treatment, trained rehabilitation professionals can address your individual detox and healing needs.

Discover some tips that may make the transition into sobriety easier when you have a husband or wife to consider as well. There has been a change overall in society’s attitude toward marriage. They may be prioritizing careers and other goals instead, or are choosing to cohabitate with a partner. If two people do not want children, they may feel less inclined to marry as well. There is also more social acceptance of those who do not wish to marry at all.

• Writing out how you feel is cathartic and helps you find the words to talk to your spouse.
• According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, involving both partners in treatment for drug and alcohol misuse can shape the ultimate success of the treatment.
• Based on the stories I know, and our personal experience, I’ll bet that divorce rate is over 80%.
• One challenge that married couples may face is navigating social situations.

So, to answer the question, “Do marriages last after rehab? With dedication, effective communication, and an unwavering commitment from both parties, it is possible to rebuild a marriage after one partner goes through rehab. Accordingly, with the proper support in place and a clear understanding of each other’s needs, couples can create an even stronger bond than before. It takes hard work and perseverance but is achievable with the right approach. As a spouse or loved one to someone with a drug Halfway house addiction, you cannot do the work of recovery for your partner. Read on to learn more about SUD, the impact of drug addiction on marriages, and strategies to help couples seek treatment and rebuild their relationships.

Crucially, you do not need to be present for every appointment or check-in. While treatment for SUD is often a group effort, spouses and other loved ones must also set aside time for their own needs and self-care. That said, there are several strategies to support both partners throughout the treatment process and to work past any marital issues that may remain after sobriety. Because of this, you’ll need to be patient, take care of yourself, and have firm boundaries.

Alcohol detox may not take as long or produce severe withdrawal symptoms, but it is still an essential beginning to your recovery. As the partner of an addict in recovery, it is important for you to recognize whether their recovery is going well and decide if you can handle the burden without help. For some addicts, the support of family and loved ones is enough to get through early recovery and into a sober life.

What is the percentage of relapse for people with an addiction?

There’s a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous that not only do alcoholics have a drinking problem, but also a thinking problem. These “thinking problems” require that the newly sober person learns how to cope, live, and react differently to life. This is why recovery is a lifelong process and needs constant attention. If you decided to stay in your marriage then you’ll need to understand the recovery process. You’ll also need to understand how to support their recovery, care for yourself, and discuss the importance of making changes.

Living with someone with a substance use disorder

As far as the impact on divorce rates, “maybe people know what they’re getting into more,” she suggests, adding that there are benefits to the commitment that marriage requires. Addiction rewires the brain, creating intense cravings and making it hard to resist. Emotional triggers, withdrawal symptoms, and deeply ingrained habits can make quitting feel overwhelming. Additionally, societal stigma or lack of support often compounds the struggle. Your spouse is learning how to cope with emotions and problems without their addictive substance.